I hope you brought enough for everybody. Lol, Just kidding, I got this.
I'm on the Gin & Tonic Diet. So far I have lost 2 days.
Trust me, Sweety. Even if it tastes like crap, they'll eat it. They're men... They'll eat anything.
We could always sell popcorn... Or salad dressing... That just might work.
SLUMBER PARTIES not as exciting as pr0n leads you to believe.
The best part of waking up is vodka in your coffee cup.
A common military tactic: the booby trap.
It's the reason I get out of bed every afternoon!
It's condensed, like my emotions.
Here's your sandwich!
Nap time? I don't think so.
Look! No bickering or fighting! Thank you, TV, for saving our family.
I love a martini. Two at the most. Three, I am under the table. Four, I am under the host...
HELP! SAVE ME! I'm trapped inside Barbie's Dream Bus!
VLADISLAV BABY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T HURT ME. NO MORE.