Open you piece of sh*t!
Shall we try a different position tonight? Sure, why don't you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
who's up for a game of Heather-ball?
I sense a horror... Burning flesh and terrible pain... Why don't you just move your hand?
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
--But, before I could do anything the bear was upon Tom ---
I hope you brought enough for everybody. Lol, Just kidding, I got this.
We will, we will, rock you.
SHEL SILVERSTEIN he knew where the sidewalk ends
Remember...A refrigerator isn't a place for children to play. It's a place to punish them when they've strayed from the righteous path.
Some men are the Filet Mignon of employees. Then there's Sloppy Joe.
Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? I would, but you're never home when it occurs.
Yes, dear! No need to shout; I'm getting your coffee right now! Come on, come on, dammit! Why isn't this Cyanide dissolving?
Tell me again what kind of mushrooms those were.