funny

You don't wanna know where the finger sandwiches are!

Serves you right for practising the bagpipes at 5 in the morning!

You misheard, vile creature...My wife does not desire multiple organisms.

Never say "Surprise me." to your beautician.

That's how I roll.

Mary, Queen of Scot (ish folds)

The "dive bar" unfortunately did not live up to Ellen's expectations.

Why dad lost custody.

Just gotta pretend to be straight for a few more weeks...

I'll never get up enough nerve to take off this coat and show them my itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

Darling, tell me... do we look ridiculous enough today?