funny

IT IS AGREED! We settle this like Gentlemen!

I'm not the girl your mom warned you about; her imagination was never this good.

Injured in a carriage accident? Call 1-800-Barrister "We'll get thee every farthing thou deserve!"

It's the reason I get out of bed every afternoon!

Apple's first invention

What? You wouldn't bring a CAT to a Dog fight, would ya ?

Nils Bohlin Inventor Of The Seatbelt

SANDWICHES she's just not gonna make 'em anymore.

Babies: this is how they get here.

THAT ONE IS UNDERSIZED THROW HIM BACK

If I listen closely, I can almost hear a purpose for my life.

Remember.....Your body is a temple, not a theme park...

All I wanted was some ice for my drink.

Yeah, then my shrink told me I was delusional. I laughed so hard, I almost fell off my unicorn.