A Very Special Report

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Editor's Note: Contains foul language.

The Onion articulates the feelings I have about hipster weddings that I've been bottling up in a precious mason jar for so long.

25 Awesome Wedding Proposals

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Who doesn't love a proposal supercut? However, I have to take issue with the incredibly insipid acoustic cover of the Jagged Edge song Let's Get Married that starts at 0:37. Seriously white guys with guitars, you're not all Jason Mraz. Stop sucking the soul out of other people's songs.

Party Sniper

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They told her, "eliminate the groom and the cake will be yours!" She knew what she had to do.

CLASSIC: Mickey Mouse Clubbing

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At first I thought the wedding had been crashed by a crazed Mickey fangirl from the way she unceremoniously kicks the bride's train out of her way. But nope, looks like they're both from the same dance planet! Beam me up!

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