Cutting Room Floor

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Let's pretend that I edited this video for a second.

Here's What I Would Cut: The Eurotrash club track in the background. ("Just Like a Dirty Dancer") Female Ass-shake at 01:15 Male Ass-shake at 01:19 Strobe effects at 01:29 Awkward upskirt/cleavage shot at 01:34 CLEAVAGE KISS at 01:39 Garter flash at 2:07 Cardboard dancing/awkward pointing/fist shaking from 02:13 to 2:33 Duck face at 03:04 More skirt-hiking at 03:16 And, pretty much everything else

Here's What I Would Leave in: Soccer

When Irreverence Was En Vogue

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Remember aspiring announcers, if you're a total jerk but have an upper class British accent, everyone will find you delightful.

Belt it Out, Dad

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I'm going to play the optimist here and say, "good on Dad for finally losing some weight!"

What Century is This?

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The Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Alabama voted to ban interracial marriages and refuse to allow a parishioner to attend services along with her fiance, who is originally from Zimbabwe.

Do couples also have to attend by horse-drawn carriage? Talk about living in the past.

Kiss the Ground

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He was just trying to excuse himself gracefully through the trap door below because he doesn't really love or support them.