You went out for cigarettes 4 years ago! They didn't have my brand.

Dear, Beatrice, what we had was great, but the cello loves me more and has nicer in-laws.

Your sea monkeys called... and they're pissed.

Fine, Mildred... We can ask for directions now.

Father, you misspelled "you're" again... Should I get the wood putty?

Spelling correction was a lot more laborious in the early days...

Timmy, leave the dog alone. You'll give him fleas.