John was always a little too open about spanking his monkey

Pardon me Do you have any grey poupon?

With your host, Johan Stewart.

I was the only person ever to serve in all three branches of the Federal Government. And the only thing you dorks can remember about me is that damn bathtub.

SAREENA SEEMS SO HAPPY AT HOME MUST BE THE NEW "TV"

I only buy canned foods because they come in metal!