I do not like The Cone of Shame
Wait, you mean Salvidor Dali actually made a painting of a woman that was flattering? Was he high?
I asked for a daiquiri, not a margarita... ...sigh. #firstworldproblems
FRILLED TO MEET YOU
Wanted you to know, I totally just blasted my triceps.
Thou Art Irate Brother?
"OH...YOU SAID YOU WANTED A CUCKOO CLOCK?" "MY BAD. I'LL PUT MY PANTS BACK ON AND LEAVE..."