lady

WINNIE KNEW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HUMILIATING BUT AS LONG AS HE KEPT POURING THE CHAMPAGNE, SHE'D KEEP LICKING IT UP

I'm sorry, Barbara, I simply can't come to the party tonight. None of my shoes matches my outfit.

WHAT EVERY MAN FEARS #3285:"Oh, crap - my exes met and actually LIKE each other!!!!" You know, you're nowhere near as sltty as Joe said you were! Thank you! You're not the evil, castrating btch he described you as, either!

My eyes are up here...

Just think, if we had a nickel we could listen to music instead of humming to ourselves.

I SWEAR TO GOD she better be ordering pizza.

Men always struggled with new ways to peek under the skirt.

If I keep smoking like a chimney, and eating one celery stick a day, I'll be back to my birth weight by July!

I just want what every normal girl wants. I want to levitate in Paris.

SPIDERMAN so that's how he was made.

TIME TO CHECK MY FACEBOOK lol

Edna knows the way to a man's heart. Just past the sternum.