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Remote? Son, you ARE the remote!

We could always sell popcorn... Or salad dressing... That just might work.

Brilliant idea, Watson! Now we can invade tiny nations.

And they never made it to Hogwarts...

Due to the high crime rate and increased costs of maintaining leather "The Little Old Woman Who live in Shoe" has added aluminum siding and a security system

That's all very well and good; but when I asked to see your references I kind of meant a resume or something like that...

Miss Bulletin Board 1930

NUTRITION doing it wrong since 1965

Two orders of extra crispy to go! Yes, Harlan! Make it snappy, Ma! KFC - the early days.

SHEL SILVERSTEIN he knew where the sidewalk ends

Pimp My Ride circa 1950

Whoa! slow down there, senorita! You haven't even finished your root beer yet

"Send in the Clowns" apparently doesn't include cab fare.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE BARN STAYS IN THE BARN.

Doloris took swift action when her doctor informed her that she wasn't getting enough tar and nicotine every day.