As the years wore on, Juliet was beginning to think Romeo might have stood her up.

PINCHIN' A LOAF

She rendered me incapable of vision with her method of hypotheses subjected to rigorous testing! And gave thee a non-passing grade in the Life Sciences...

Are these the skeletons in your closet, that Mommy was talking about?

children should be seen and not heard ugly children if allowed to live should be masked

It's been a whole 5 minutes and no one has 'liked' my status!

The internet is down...

THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU DROP MY FINE CHINA ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR!

Wow. Through the ceiling on the first try!

I cannot tell a lie...I did it for the lulz.

Grandpa had a tendency to ramble when he had a few.

When I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.

OMG! SHUT UP!

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."