Wait, is she marrying a member of the rival team? Naughty!
Editor's Note: Contains foul language.
The Onion articulates the feelings I have about hipster weddings that I've been bottling up in a precious mason jar for so long.
Let's leave the heavy breathing to these two later, OK? #yeahIwentthere
Thank you, sir, for kindly protecting your poor naked wife from the prying eyes of the camera.
That hair! Those ankle socks! That cane! It's pure perfection!