You need to be quiet and go to sleep. You're not my real mom.
"But what's wrong with an AOL email address?"
Any idiot can have a dog.
THAT AWESOME MOMENT WHEN YOU FIND THAT SONG THAT MATCHES YOUR PACE PERFECTLY
Guess who won't pee his pants anymore? You guessed right!
Mommy, I'm tired of drinking milk all the time. I want a tall glass of single-malt scotch too!
Soon enough, dear!