This might be the beer talking, but, I really love beer!
A simpler time, before birth control.
You've been gone in the Crusades a long time. I should warn you. Mama got fat. And remarried. And rich. And hired someone to kill you. And we no longer bear your name. But...WELCOME HOME, DADDY!
Ladies, pleeeze! There's no more Viagra....
I was just wonderin' where the newspaper boy was.