Your desk could use some more fungus accessories.
Available at: Suck UK http://www.suck.uk.com/product.php?rangeID=154&rangeNew=1 ($16)
He's only a unicorn when your pencil is dull so keep drawing!
Imagine the awesome patterns if you dropped him off the table onto a big sheet of paper?
Red, it is so thoughtful of you to sit here all day on my desk to make sure I have tape around. I hope you've got enough snacks in that basket because I've got nothing to share.
When you turn your monthly report in to the big boss, don't you think it would be better appreciated with a little whimsy thrown in?
Be your own miniature urban improvement league.
This pen claims to have enough ink to last 7 whole years! That would be awesome, considering how we type everything these days, I'd never have to buy another pen!
The most recent note from my supervisor about current benefits open enrollment was so adorable it deserves a place of honor in my special heart clip.
Penguins are very organized. They'll have your files in tip top shape in no time.
The only way this could be better is if it also played "Endless Love". (+100 internets for catching the reference)
While reading the RIVETING monthly expense report you may find yourself nibbling on your office supplies. Careful there.