Even though you're stuck in a dark, chilly office in the depths of winter, just remember, it's sunny somewhere.
He's only a unicorn when your pencil is dull so keep drawing!
I've been searching for a way to make stapling more badass.
Available at: Suck UK http://www.suck.uk.com/product.php?rangeID=154&rangeNew=1 ($16)
Be your own miniature urban improvement league.
He doesn't really look like he wants you to have a nice day, but the sentiment is there.
Every piece of paper, if these were left on my desk would say "HUNGRY".
Imagine the awesome patterns if you dropped him off the table onto a big sheet of paper?
Available at: http://hankodesigns.com/Accessories/OfficeAccessories/DClips.htm
I've never seen an assistant quite so talented. He can hold my pencil, tape and other accessories all while taking care of some business of his own if you know what I mean.
Spitballs? Please! If you really want to annoy your coworkers, fire circus people over the cubicle wall!
Your desk could use some more fungus accessories.
Available at: Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Henry-Desk-Vacuum/dp/B001GNTLGY/ref=sr14?ie=UTF8&qid=1289466344&sr=8-4 ($18)