The only way this could be better is if it also played "Endless Love". (+100 internets for catching the reference)
Do you chew on your pens and mangle them? It won't look quite as odd if it looks like you're chewing on actual candy.
Do your documents love you or love you not?
Red, it is so thoughtful of you to sit here all day on my desk to make sure I have tape around. I hope you've got enough snacks in that basket because I've got nothing to share.
I've never seen an assistant quite so talented. He can hold my pencil, tape and other accessories all while taking care of some business of his own if you know what I mean.
Puppies love to have their tails cranked while being fed wood shavings! Om nom nom!
Even though you're stuck in a dark, chilly office in the depths of winter, just remember, it's sunny somewhere.
You always wanted to be a space ranger, this is one step closer!
Every piece of paper, if these were left on my desk would say "HUNGRY".
While reading the RIVETING monthly expense report you may find yourself nibbling on your office supplies. Careful there.
When you turn your monthly report in to the big boss, don't you think it would be better appreciated with a little whimsy thrown in?
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He's only a unicorn when your pencil is dull so keep drawing!