Your desk could use some more fungus accessories.
Red, it is so thoughtful of you to sit here all day on my desk to make sure I have tape around. I hope you've got enough snacks in that basket because I've got nothing to share.
Be your own miniature urban improvement league.
I've been searching for a way to make stapling more badass.
Do you chew on your pens and mangle them? It won't look quite as odd if it looks like you're chewing on actual candy.
Even though you're stuck in a dark, chilly office in the depths of winter, just remember, it's sunny somewhere.
Puppies love to have their tails cranked while being fed wood shavings! Om nom nom!
You always wanted to be a space ranger, this is one step closer!
Every piece of paper, if these were left on my desk would say "HUNGRY".
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Do your documents love you or love you not?