Available at: Rakuten http://en.item.rakuten.com/wich/kittyscope/ ($21.36)
Imagine the awesome patterns if you dropped him off the table onto a big sheet of paper?
Available at: Perpetual Kid http://www.perpetualkid.com/giant-ice-cream-cone-lamp.aspx ($40) Via: Incredible Things http://www.incrediblethings.com/home/giant-ice-cream-cone-lamp/
Via: NotCot http://www.notcot.com/
Though I don't quite understand what one needs with so many pencils, I'm glad there's a job out there for Mr. Whaley since he retired from teaching schools of fish.
Available at: Suck UK http://www.suck.uk.com/product.php?rangeID=154&rangeNew=1 ($16)
Spitballs? Please! If you really want to annoy your coworkers, fire circus people over the cubicle wall!