Grandpa had a tendency to ramble when he had a few.
When I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.
OMG! SHUT UP!
So he's all "Check this thing out, it's a duck-billed aquatic mammal that lays eggs. Imma call it a platypus." and I'm like "Dad, are you drunk" But he made the thing anyway.
Tea. Coffee. Vodka. Drugs.
Man, I am SICK of cleaning up after Joe's parties.
Rosie! More Jaegerbombs! ZZZNnx.
What's your poison? Oh, nevermind, I see you've brought your own.
What the hell am I talking about? I'm pretty much sloshed all the time!