Ladies, Cast Off Your Rings in Disgust

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Because he doesn't really love you unless he gives you an ALL-DIAMOND RING, like this one from Shawish Jewelers of Geneva, Switzerland.

When You Wish Upon a Ring

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When you wish upon a ring, makes no difference who you... dammit, that doesn't rhyme well!

The Right Owl for the Job

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Just try to make sure he doesn't eat the ring. Then we'll have to wait for him to spit up a pellet and then dig it outta there. Ew.