As a refined individual you prefer the truly luxurious things in life: crustless sandwiches and well-groomed facial hair. No one can blame you for having your priorities in order.
Gents, do you miss kissing your ladyfriend who refuses to let your boar-bristle toothbrush of a mustache near her delicate skin? Solutions all up in this place!
Well aren't you the most dapper aquatic mammal I've ever seen?
A mustache says a lot about a man. And a fridge.
Oh mustache candy, you are so dapper!
Handlebars deserve handlebars.
Not a bad idea, Kitty, my lip does get a little chilly in the winter.