I can't stand to see a good piece of garbage go to waste. Turn it into a lamp!
It's nice to know someone tall and quiet is watching over me while I sleep. Wait, did I say nice? I meant super creepy.
You don't need a doctorate to look like the smartest person your friends have ever met, you just need a really cool lamp.
What your house needs is lights shaped like little houses.
I don't know if I could handle the constant suggestion to drink hot chocolate, but I would love to impress my coworkers with this.