For the incredibly literal-minded.

I have to say, though it sucks to have rain in the summer, I do love the sound it makes when it patters on the dry ground for the first time in a while. Thanks for helping me celebrate, lunch!

Elephant, thank you for making me such a delicious and beautiful meal! You sure are talented and precise with that big trunk of yours. How you managed to carve a self-portrait out of cheese, I'll never know!

Well hello lunch buddies! Shall we sit in the park today while I eat each one of your tiny little faces off? Thanks for being so cheerful about all this, you're real troopers.

Okay you guys, for real, there is obviously no excuse to not have super adorable snacks around. Can you cut a piece of cheese once with a knife? Yes? Then you have cute appetizers!

Oh pizza, you look so hopeful that I'll become your friend and through the magic of friendship I'll learn to never eat pizza again. You are a sweet kid but you're wrong.

No joke guys, I chaperoned a high school prom last weekend! The kids were all dolled up and on their best behavior and I didn't once have to bust anyone for drinking or inappropriate dancing or anything. One of the cutest things about kids at formals is all the matchy matchy dress and tux action. I wish I'd seen this photo earlier, I would have made snacks to show them how it's done.