I'm consumed by curiosity about what's on the paper! What does it say?!
Harness the power!
Too chicken to get a gold cap for your real tooth? Just rock this instead!
Though it won't be much help in an emergency, having a reminder of the natural functions of the body should keep things from getting too heavy.
Wear your geekiness with pride! Pair it with your three keyboard cat moon shirt and leave the nerd boys swooning in your wake.
Your heart requires safe keeping. Don't want it to get broken, do you?