donuts

In Japan they don't mess around with their sweets. Even Krispy Kreme gets in on the holiday action. I wonder if the snowmen are cream filled.

Someday I want to coat my whole arm in icing and dip it in a vat of sprinkles. I wouldn't know what to do next, sadly, once I'm thoroughly spackled with hardening icing and sugary bits. I wouldn't want to eat it, I just want to take pictures of it maybe and call myself "Ol' Donut Arm". I guess just a donut will do.

Honestly, what CAN'T you make out of yarn? These just look amazing!

Do you live in Asia? Near a Mister Donut? Jealous! Go get one of these adorable little guys and bite his head off in my honor!

I want dozens of machines to make all my favorite foods in miniature form. Tiny food has no calories, right?

One little chocolate donut and a few gulps of milk sounds like just the right amount of sweet goodness to reward yourself for getting your taxes done. Go ahead, you deserve it.

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't combine foods you love to create a delicious chimera. For instance, one of the best burgers I've ever eaten had peanut butter, bacon and a fried egg on it. Sounds bizarre, tastes AMAZING. Also, it was the only thing I ate that day, talk about a calorie bomb!

Eating a whole box of donuts usually isn't something to be proud of but I think we can forgive it this once.

I want so very badly for this pancake candle to smell like freshly cooked pancakes complete with fresh melting butter. Are there candles that just smell like butter? Maybe Paula Deen can branch out...

Now that I'm getting older and slowing down a little (LIES!) and not raging six nights a week like I once did, I can imagine eating bright green donuts shaped like sweet little bears without feeling queasy in the least. There was a time when even the hint of breakfast would send me wretching. I'm happy to be able to appreciate the cuteness and whimsy of green icing.

Imagine waking up on Sunday morning after a super fun night out on the town for your friend's birthday. You're exhausted, you're sore, your voice is hoarse from proclamations of merriment, your hair smells funny and you still have one sock on. Now imagine that this donut appears on your nightstand. Feeling a bit better now? I thought so.

Now I'm not saying a boy can't enjoy a pink cake covered with donuts and sprinkles, but if we're gonna follow hetero-normative social gender constructs, it's pretty clear who this cake is for.

Even donuts can get in on the Valentine trend with their sassy little sprinkles and saucy heart shape. Dunk them in your coffee quick, before it gets cold!

I don't know how this magical appliance works but I do know I need one.

Next time you are hosting a quilting bee (and I know it's soon! Don't lie!) you can present snacks on little appropriate stands made out of thread spools. Themed presentation of snacks is one of the little things that make get-togethers extra special.

I hope you've got a bunch of friends to share your birthday with. Otherwise someone is just out to ruin you.