dispenser

It's a little weird that he's pooping tissue, but I'll take it.

Or you could, you know, put the candy in a bowl. But what fun is that?

I'm not a huge fan of having a face in the bathroom watching me, but this robot is so neutral and all about business. You know he takes his job seriously because he is programmed to do one thing and one thing only, provide you with fresh clean paper. Thanks robot!

It's nice to have someone around to help out when you're not feeling so hot.

Can we say MOST USEFUL INVENTION EVER?!

Pulling something out of your nose to wipe my nose is a little too meta, but I've got a cold and I need a tissue no matter what.

I'm not sure why I'd need so many different kinds of tape, but if I did, these sure would be handy!

Not only is this octopus sweet and cuddly but she's also helpful, especially when you're sick and you need a friend to snuggle and wipe your nose.

Red, it is so thoughtful of you to sit here all day on my desk to make sure I have tape around. I hope you've got enough snacks in that basket because I've got nothing to share.

I hate wrapping gifts so much, pointing a gun at the boxes sounds incredibly satisfying.