William Shatner

Nice to Know it's Still Funny in the 23rd Century

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I'm telling you, Captain, He keeps touching my leg.

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I'm not looking over there. It's just another half-naked lady.

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Dear Diary, I allowed the crew to give me a Vulcan makeover for Spock's "Pon Farr" function. A kind of fancy dress party I believe.

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I didn't ask for health or dental. All I asked for is one thing. One table...right here.

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Whoever gave my mother my cell phone number is up for court martial.

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A mission Kirk gladly accepts

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It's Shatnerday! The Day We Celebrate James Tiberius Kirk.

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On Shatnerday, Kirk Laughs at Your Ignorance

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Dubstep

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Bones, I say we take the phasers and hit those Klingons right in the knee.

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So we're Hufflepuf, Ravenclaw and Slitherin .

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What about my close-up!?

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