mom

What are you staring at? They're adopted.

...and after this I am going to teach you how to make sandwiches...men love sandwiches.

Mommy, I'm tired of drinking milk all the time. I want a tall glass of single-malt scotch too!
Soon enough, dear!

So long kids. Mommy's got a lot of work to do. And by work I mean some quaaludes and the mailman.

Now remember to share these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dear especially with the bully with the allergy

I don't always barge into your room, but when I do, I don't knock.