mom

Although the resemblance was uncanny... The milkman never said a word to Mrs. Johnsons baby.

I don't always barge into your room, but when I do, I don't knock.

Please don't view Peter too harshly. He pulls his d*ck out in class.

Call it what you want: School time, 8am, gin-o'clock; Jill loved this time of day!

Now remember to share these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dear especially with the bully with the allergy

Mommy, I'm tired of drinking milk all the time. I want a tall glass of single-malt scotch too!
Soon enough, dear!

...and after this I am going to teach you how to make sandwiches...men love sandwiches.

So long kids. Mommy's got a lot of work to do. And by work I mean some quaaludes and the mailman.