mom

Mommy, I'm tired of drinking milk all the time. I want a tall glass of single-malt scotch too!
Soon enough, dear!

Now remember to share these peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dear especially with the bully with the allergy

I don't always barge into your room, but when I do, I don't knock.

What are you staring at? They're adopted.

...and after this I am going to teach you how to make sandwiches...men love sandwiches.

So long kids. Mommy's got a lot of work to do. And by work I mean some quaaludes and the mailman.

Call it what you want: School time, 8am, gin-o'clock; Jill loved this time of day!

Please don't view Peter too harshly. He pulls his d*ck out in class.

Although the resemblance was uncanny... The milkman never said a word to Mrs. Johnsons baby.