Aliens

We told you, get out of the water! It's the old people's turn to swim

Breaking News - Bold door to door salesman makes first contact!

Yup, that's complete historical accuracy right there....

i was sure i tied those down

Worry not, Elizabeth. I've engaged them to rid us of those pernicious zombies. Oh, Mr. Darcy, you DO think of everything, don't you?!

GO ON, ZORTHOK, KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I KNEW HE'D CHICKEN OUT. LOOK, MORON, YOU CAN'T ASK HER OUT IF YOU DON'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

TOUCHING YOURSELF your parents warned you bad things happen when you do it.

See kids? They DID exist! Once.

I don't remember this Hardy Boys mystery.