Aliens

i was sure i tied those down

Yup, that's complete historical accuracy right there....

GO ON, ZORTHOK, KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I KNEW HE'D CHICKEN OUT. LOOK, MORON, YOU CAN'T ASK HER OUT IF YOU DON'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

We told you, get out of the water! It's the old people's turn to swim

TOUCHING YOURSELF your parents warned you bad things happen when you do it.

LIFEGUARDS OFF DUTY Swim at your own risk

See kids? They DID exist! Once.

Breaking News - Bold door to door salesman makes first contact!

I don't remember this Hardy Boys mystery.

Martians attack capture enemy base