Aliens

GO ON, ZORTHOK, KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I KNEW HE'D CHICKEN OUT. LOOK, MORON, YOU CAN'T ASK HER OUT IF YOU DON'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

Martians attack capture enemy base

Breaking News - Bold door to door salesman makes first contact!

Yup, that's complete historical accuracy right there....

LIFEGUARDS OFF DUTY Swim at your own risk

See kids? They DID exist! Once.

I don't remember this Hardy Boys mystery.

We told you, get out of the water! It's the old people's turn to swim

Worry not, Elizabeth. I've engaged them to rid us of those pernicious zombies. Oh, Mr. Darcy, you DO think of everything, don't you?!