Aliens

i was sure i tied those down

TOUCHING YOURSELF your parents warned you bad things happen when you do it.

GO ON, ZORTHOK, KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I KNEW HE'D CHICKEN OUT. LOOK, MORON, YOU CAN'T ASK HER OUT IF YOU DON'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

Breaking News - Bold door to door salesman makes first contact!

LIFEGUARDS OFF DUTY Swim at your own risk

I don't remember this Hardy Boys mystery.

Worry not, Elizabeth. I've engaged them to rid us of those pernicious zombies. Oh, Mr. Darcy, you DO think of everything, don't you?!

Yup, that's complete historical accuracy right there....

See kids? They DID exist! Once.