Just try to avoid the impulse to sneeze. Just you try!
Mr. Salt, don't get cheeky with me!
Voila! Your food is now seasoned!
I don't endorse salt-bombing your food, but if you must, these would be particularly appropriate.
Just don't let salty the snowman make friends with any slugs.
Which do you figure would be which? I use more salt than pepper so I'd prefer to keep it in something that is bigger on the inside.