There wouldn't be cookies in the first place without the science of baking. Celebrate it!
Who hasn't wanted kitty ears that move realistically based on what you're thinking?
Available at: Rakuten http://en.item.rakuten.com/wich/kittyscope/ ($21.36)
Don't be ashamed, everybody poops.
You don't need a doctorate to look like the smartest person your friends have ever met, you just need a really cool lamp.