Spitballs? Please! If you really want to annoy your coworkers, fire circus people over the cubicle wall!
I've never seen an assistant quite so talented. He can hold my pencil, tape and other accessories all while taking care of some business of his own if you know what I mean.
We don't need a Rolodex like we did in the old days. We only need a few cards around. And broccoli. Always broccoli.
You always wanted to be a space ranger, this is one step closer!