We get it Bill, this experiment's important. No need to get all dramatic about it.
"Yes I am riding an anthropomorphic bull while a winged ninja turtle chases me. You want to make something of it?"
"Alas, poor Yorrick! I knew him... wait, who is this?"
Yeah, I'm thinking it can stay buried.
"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios."
Sounds like the scariest book ever written.
(Snow White and the Huntsman)