Ralph Fiennes, who played Voldemort in the "Harry Potter" films, reads some Harry/Voldemort slash fiction.
"Ten bucks? How do I know you'll do my vasectomy right?"
"We fixed your crooked nose, didn't we?"
The dark lord job didn't work out
So I became a banker.
(Harry Potter, Star Wars, Firefly, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who)