Here's one goldfish in a bowl that NO ONE can call animal cruelty on.
Available at: Ebonypawspets http://www.etsy.com/listing/59621059/lol-cat-has-cheezburger-pet-id-tag ($10)
They don't make a racket or a stink and they're even helpful in the dark! Requires only electricity feedings.
Look, sometimes you don't want to have to socialize with your roommates, okay? It's nice to have a little private place to get away to.
I'm trying out my new sensory deprivation tank!
An ideal pet! No dander, no litter box, no affection!
Don't worry, he's not a real fish, but he's just about as cuddly as a real one.