First Chance to Drop Her as Your Wife

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By Tiffany
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You may now toss your bride into the water.

At First Glance

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At first glance I was like, THE BUILDING IS FLOODING, "STOP FACE-EATING AND GET OUTTA THERE!!" ... And then I was like, "oh they're under a dock."

The Love Boat

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I was never the little girl who dreamed of her perfect wedding day. I was a tom boy - who loved to canoe. Somehow the idea of canoeing down the "aisle" stuck. And it was pretty freakin' amazing.

Did you resist the urge to go all Pocahontas in "Just Around the Riverbend?" Because I would have totally just started paddling like mad and been all, "you don't own me, world!"

Buoyant Bridal

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You know what floats? Corpses. I mean, cork and witches and very small rocks float too, but so do corpses...

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