My Baby Takes the Morning Train

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Oh great, all these cheery flashmobbers are getting in the way of my usual morning subway commute nap. BOOOO!

Paper Trails

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Paper Trails
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Because it's never been done before, Chinese bride Li Kuo wore a 110-pound wedding dress with a 520-meter-long (1,700 feet) train to her wedding in Beijing. She chose the number 520 because the numbers 5-2-0 are pronounced the same as "I love you" in the local dialect.

Might be just me, but seeing these long wedding trains always calls to mind a yard freshly toilet-papered by the neighborhood kids. Which is just about the least romantic thing in existence...

The Pain Train

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The first step to a happy marriage is not to trip on the first step.

Pick Up The Slack

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Pick Up The Slack
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I'm fairly certain that aisle's been swept. But for the sake of my OCD, somebody please pick up her train or call Pippa Middleton or something!