Cutting Room Floor

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Let's pretend that I edited this video for a second.

Here's What I Would Cut: The Eurotrash club track in the background. ("Just Like a Dirty Dancer") Female Ass-shake at 01:15 Male Ass-shake at 01:19 Strobe effects at 01:29 Awkward upskirt/cleavage shot at 01:34 CLEAVAGE KISS at 01:39 Garter flash at 2:07 Cardboard dancing/awkward pointing/fist shaking from 02:13 to 2:33 Duck face at 03:04 More skirt-hiking at 03:16 And, pretty much everything else

Here's What I Would Leave in: Soccer

Former Rockette

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Grandma will not apologize for kickin' 'em heels high.

The Problem With Vintage

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The problem with vintage cars is that sometimes at very clutch moments you realize why we don't drive cars like these anymore...

Not a Beginner's Move

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Hey, hey, hey. This isn't Dancing With the Stars!

Oh Mom, You Are Drunk

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Well, to be fair so are the rest of these post-wedding revelers. Especially our helpful narrator-cameraman who points out, YOU FELL IN THE POOL. Because, you know, she might not have realized that herself.

Noontime Schadenfreude

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Not really a fan of videos in which people get hurt and we're supposed to laugh. But since I don't dictate all things humorous in this world (yet), here ya go!

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