The Flower Girl Conspiracy

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Just another example in my long line of evidence that flower girls secretly conspire to ruin weddings.

Jungle Cruise Skipper Proposal

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This is my fiance proposing to me while I'm skippering the Jungle Cruise. As you can tell by the video, he shares my love for horrible jokes.

Truck Stop Wedding Cake

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If you're going to stick this on the top of your wedding cake, why even bother with the flowers on the table, or with a table at all? Just serve your guests funyuns out of the bag with cans of Mello Yello and they can squat.

Meine-Kraft Liebe

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Building a future together, pixel by pixel.

Marry the Bacon

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Obviously this was my favorite commercial from yesterday's Super Bowl.

Your Future Husband

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Yes ladies, you can thank us later for this perfection-made-incarnate who's looking for his soulmate. On second thought, no need for gratitude, just invite us to the wedding!

The Far-Off Lonely Wail

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Don't mind the lonely ambulance driver, he's just going to pass by a few times, lamenting the sweet, sweet despair that is love. His siren is like a sigh that pleads to Venus to release him from the misery of longing for the one that got away. No, really, carry on with your merrymaking.