When you're serious about exterminating your guests you gotta up the fire power.
Editor's Note: Contains foul language.
The Onion articulates the feelings I have about hipster weddings that I've been bottling up in a precious mason jar for so long.
Let's leave the heavy breathing to these two later, OK? #yeahIwentthere
Thank you, sir, for kindly protecting your poor naked wife from the prying eyes of the camera.
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