"Honestly, Mother, I want this photo because of how nice you look." "Bullsh*t, you want it because of that little girl."
Sometimes when you're inebriated it takes all kinds of concentration to accomplish anything that requires the slightest coordination. In these times, it's best to save your energy up for important tasks like bouquet nabbing.
I dare say she might be happier than the bride today.
"Upon landing she did, in fact, bowl over a couple poor girls whom got in her way."