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World's drunkest party on world's smallest dance floor.

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Editor's Note: Contains foul language.

The Onion articulates the feelings I have about hipster weddings that I've been bottling up in a precious mason jar for so long.

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Just another example in my long line of evidence that flower girls secretly conspire to ruin weddings.

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Grandma will not apologize for kickin' 'em heels high.