Hmmm, ill-fitting suit, juvenile ass-jokes... In what state do they marry 14-year olds?
Guaranteed that your beer glass will be fancier than you are by the end of the night.
You see... you got so excited that you got the piggyback who-carried-who backwards. Happens to the best of us, really.
Men only jump that high for two reasons: basketball rebounds and ladies' undergarments.
Those are some mighty cold feet.