Don't judge; you'd be all "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," too, if your father had just chopped off your hand.

Pau Gasol Totally Looks Like This Angry Ostrich

LOL, ostriches playing basketball. I hope somebody makes a movie about that some day.

Pro Wrestler Vladimir Koslov Totally Looks Like Sam the Eagle

To look like Sam the Eagle without the aid of a unibrow is quite the impressive feat, indeed.

Xena Warrior Princess (Lucy Lawless) Totally Looks Like Insanity Wolf

In a battle to the death, who wins? My money is on Xena: Warrior Princess because I feel like nothing beats a woman during a raging period... of physical and emotional distress.