What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I forget the rest, but your mother is a wh*re.
AWESOMENESS IS... James Bond & Han Solo making a film together.
-Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford, Sean Connery
Your senility hat: once you attain Sean Connery-level status, put whatever the hell you want on your head.
007 his drink of choice is now Metamucil, shaken, not stirred.
The look my grandchildren give me when I tell them to sh*t on my lap.
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