On the first installment of the two-part Real Housewives of New Jersey finale (aired 9/16): Caroline
Manzo and the husband visit sons Chris and Albie in their apartment, and as usual Caroline is a She-Bear Mega-Btch. Albie's girlfriend Lindsay, who seems perfectly nice, is cooking breakfast for
everybody. "It smells all the way down the hallway!" Caroline announces as she enters the apartment.
For a moment, it seems as though she is offering a compliment to Lindsay, which does seem strange
considering how cruel and withholding she normally is. Then she finishes her statement: "Can you
open a window?" In other words: "Lindsay, your food smells bad, and you will NEVER marry my son! If he can't legally marry me, he will marry NO ONE!"
As everybody digests her remark, an awkward silence ensues. Caroline then proceeds to tell Albie how
great his apartment is, his career... but never mentions his girlfriend Lindsay. The camera passes over
said girlfriend's face and she's flushed with shame.
(Side note: Caroline,, you remind me of Garfield. You really, really remind me of Garfield. The red
hair? The lasagna? The angry expression? The hatred for all things cuter than you? And also the fact
that you told a clothing store owner, "I don't do sparkles!"? Am I the first to make this comparison?)
The scene in Chris and Albie's apartment only gets worse. Caroline and hubby Big Al talk about
retirement, and Al passive-aggressively jokes that once they start spending unlimited amounts of
time together, he could realize "this chick (Caroline) is a btch!" The room erupts with laughter, but
Caroline scowls and a cloud of darkness settles around her. She looks at Al like she wants to cut his
head off with a laser. AWKWARD! Get this woman some lasagna, stat!
America's Next Top Model, Season 19, episode 4 (aired 9/14), begins with the "acting challenge". Tyra
determines that the best actor currently working in the biz is TYLER PERRY, so she brings him in to help with judging.
Tyra: "In order to make you the top, I needed to bring the top. He is the king of doing characters!
Medea?" And then, "Acting is all about being over the top."
Reminder to viewers: This "melodrama over substance" approach to acting has gotten Tyra VERY far in the movie biz. Hasn't it? Oh. Wait. It hasn't . She was in Life Size. She played a living doll. With Lindsay Lohan. No wonder Lindsay's acting career is cursed!
While Episode 3 was about "preserving" the reputation of Harvard, this episode is about denigrating the art of acting.
Lesson (not) learned: TYLER PERRY is apparently in league with Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis as far as his ability to create characters.