The Real World St. Thomas: "Chicken Abuse and Broken Dreams”

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The Real World St. Thomas: "Chicken Abuse and Broken Dreams”
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The Real World St. Thomas finale (aired 9/12) involves chicken abuse (Swift), a guy almost sh*ting his pants during a parade (Trey), drunken gorilla dancing (Marie at a bar), pole dancing (Laura at a bar), and yellow vomit spewing over the side of a boat (all the cast members).

Details about the chickens: to get back at the girls (Marie and LaToya) for a prank, Swift decides to forcibly kidnap two St. Thomas chickens and hide them in his roommates' beds. "I hope LaToya doesn't jump on them!" he says excitedly. So then of course LaToya comes in and jumps on them. Upon being discovered, the chickens emerge with bald patches and expressions of terror (if chickens can have expressions). They are technically alive, but holding on by a thread.

After the closing credits, MTV offers a message of reassurance for the audience: "No chickens were harmed in the implementation of Swift's pranks. They continue to run free in St. Thomas." I'd like to tweak the message, slightly: "Wild chickens were chased down by a Real World cast member, squeezed, probed, man-handled, wrestled into a taped up box, transported on a boat, hidden under thick blankets as a hilarious "joke", trampled on by multiple drunkards (Ha ha! It's a PRANK! FUNNY!), and finally "released' back into the wild. No chickens were killed during filming of this episode, though they probably died from stress shortly after being 'freed'."

Read more about dead chickens and drunk douchebags at Real Housewives Real Professor!

Reality Round-Up

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Reality Round-Up
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In Big Brother, Amanda's reign is slipping. Elissa is the new Head of House and it looks like she's hoping to oust Aaryn as soon as possible. While in Sunday night's finale of the Twitter favorite Whodunnit? the winner, Kam finally unmasked Rue Manor's killer, Cris. How many of you saw that coming?

SNOOKI

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SNOOKI
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SNOOKI: the strongest pro-choice argument to uphold Roe v Wade (Snooki)

Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!

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Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!
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Wonder twin powers activate Form of, fat, talentless, whore. (Snooki)