Great News! R. Kelly Wrote 32 NEW Chapters to "Trapped in the Closet"!!!

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Good news, everyone! R. Kelly has written 32 new chapters to his "legendary" 2007 hip-hopera "Trapped in the Closet" because the world obviously hasn't suffered enough. Case in point, the above video featuring Chapter 7 of "Trapped in the Closet."

The only saving grace preventing this musical disaster from happening is that Kelly lacks funding to produce the updated chapters. However, TMZ reports that the troubled singer is currently looking for financial backing and could begin work on the updated chapters immediately once the money starts rolling in.

Dear recession, please prevent any money from rolling in. Sincerely, THE ENTIRE WORLD. :(

Enough With The Updates, Lucas!

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I'm sorry but "MAY THE DOG BE WITH YOU" just doesn't sound right! -Darth Vader, Snoop Dogg