Great News! R. Kelly Wrote 32 NEW Chapters to "Trapped in the Closet"!!!

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Good news, everyone! R. Kelly has written 32 new chapters to his "legendary" 2007 hip-hopera "Trapped in the Closet" because the world obviously hasn't suffered enough. Case in point, the above video featuring Chapter 7 of "Trapped in the Closet."

The only saving grace preventing this musical disaster from happening is that Kelly lacks funding to produce the updated chapters. However, TMZ reports that the troubled singer is currently looking for financial backing and could begin work on the updated chapters immediately once the money starts rolling in.

Dear recession, please prevent any money from rolling in. Sincerely, THE ENTIRE WORLD. :(

Eminem And His Spuhghett Rap

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His palms are sweaty, knees weak

arms spaghetti.

There's vomit on his spaghetti already,

mom's spaghetti.

He's spaghetti, but on the surface he

looks calm and ready... to drop spaghetti.

But he keeps on forgetting what he

spaghetti. -Eminem

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