Hey Internet, Can We All Agree to Stop Doing This? Please?

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Hey Internet, Can We All Agree to Stop Doing This? Please?
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The real date is only a couple years away. Please, let's keep it special and stop spreading these fake images every other week.

Set humor to ludicrous speed!

Tan Mom Ur Perf Nevr Change

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Tan Mom Ur Perf Nevr Change View Fullscreen
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A drunken Patricia Krentcil, otherwise known as Tanning Mom, was looking flawless on the red carpet only moments before being kicked off the stage at Manhattan's XL Club after swearing at the audience, kicking over her wine glass and physically attacking the drag queen host.

Krentcil gained internet notoriety after being charged with taking her five-year-old daughter tanning earlier this year, in case you forgot why she's "famous" or something.

Perfect mother, never change lol JK pls stahp.

Great News! R. Kelly Wrote 32 NEW Chapters to "Trapped in the Closet"!!!

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Good news, everyone! R. Kelly has written 32 new chapters to his "legendary" 2007 hip-hopera "Trapped in the Closet" because the world obviously hasn't suffered enough. Case in point, the above video featuring Chapter 7 of "Trapped in the Closet."

The only saving grace preventing this musical disaster from happening is that Kelly lacks funding to produce the updated chapters. However, TMZ reports that the troubled singer is currently looking for financial backing and could begin work on the updated chapters immediately once the money starts rolling in.

Dear recession, please prevent any money from rolling in. Sincerely, THE ENTIRE WORLD. :(

Seems Like a Fine Reason to Jump, If You Ask Me

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Seems Like a Fine Reason to Jump, If You Ask Me
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Death, or deathly punmanship. There's no winning when those are your options. - Matty Malaprop

SO. MUCH. PUN.